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Say a few words. ~ Rachel

A search for happiness is nothing but finding a home in a hearts of few so safe..that you cant help but keep trying to stay in. Hope yall still want in.
~Shraddha

In a while,looking at a few old words you wrote once,
some being those, which makes you wonder how you wrote it,
unless you got that ardour , that small drug you were addicted with,that small shelter, that old family. Makes you silent.

In a while, now writing a few words. And that exhilation to share it,ain't the same. And you think about the old time.
Makes you silent again.
~ Manisha.

One day when I get superpowers (ahem), I'd ask you to hold my hands and I would make you see what I see. Feel, How I feel. I would want to have you look at the world, the stars, the moon, the ocean, the way I see them. And in that maelstrom of visions I would get to see the world in your image. Experience this sanctum through your eyes. And then when I write, that would be my greatest work ever. Because It would have been written by all of us and none of us. But I don't have superpowers, so lets make this place, the sanctum in my dream.
~Sharad


Thursday, August 12, 2010

No Light Over Silent Water

We sat over the wet sand, When the solar shadows were long. We strummed the melodies stumbling past, From oft forgotten song. The song enchants an angel white, Which ripples the silent seas. Then silver songbirds in crescendo rise, From autumn untouched trees. The angel of heaven had fallen from grace, And wet was his visage white. The fallen angel's tears made green, A barren forest untouched by light. The newborn river spake at last, "O seraphim, what hast thou done?" "To cry unbidden in woods so brown, While thy brethern soar aft the sun." "O mighty brook", he spoke at last, "I've failed my brothers three." His mighty wings unfolded at last, As he spoke of his pregnant grief. "Far from grace have I fallen, O brook, Flung far from my firmament blue." "The high heavens have torn asunder, Above clouds so white and true" "A dark rain lingers heavy on, A heaven once bright and proud. White flames arc under flickering suns, No wings on angels sprout." "Heaven lies burning, cries freedom in tears, Mists darken vistas of green, The gates of heaven are now twisted metal, And falling are golden leaves." "What hast thou wrought", the brook now cried, "On earth you wretched soul." The earth exploded as the river fell dead, From the tears of the angel fourth. He knelt weeping in overflowing waters, As land was vanquished in sight. His tears fell over lands barren once more, As earth was burned alight.

8 comments:

  1. It was so..beautiful. It was a story, y'know? I could see the angel just as easily if I had watched it on a television or from a distance from my own eyes. It breathed with everything it said. I loved the description at the beginning, and the way it was described that heaven was falling.
    It was very beautiful, in a melancholy type way.

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  2. That's a lotta adjectives dude, overwhelming.

    We strummed the melodies stumbling past, (You can get away without using stumbling here)

    From oft forgotten song (Revise: From an often forgotten song-sounds better)

    Which ripples the silent seas. (Replace period with a comma)

    The angel of heaven had fallen from grace,(too cliched, consider revising)

    After that the overuse of spoke, spake, is killing it there.

    White flames arc under flickering suns,(What's white flames?)

    Mists darken vistas of green,(that brings a funny, twisted, sinister feeling while spoken)

    I really like the ending but I suppose you can combine the last stanza with the one before that. Thoughts?

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  3. . your words flow seamlessly and mesmerize ... your thoughts stun and amaze ... this epic tale of an angel, i surmise ... sets the wandering soul ablaze ... who knows what lies ahead ... if hope is even a word ... who knows the living or dead ... who knows what's said or heard ... sometimes we find our destiny ... and sometimes it finds us ... it's a beautiful irony ... unraveling ... slowly ... thus ... :) ...

    - serah

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  4. its an angel falling from grace, don't know what else to use here. white flames is lightning. SPOKE is overused i know but what can one do. MELODIES stumbling past signifies that the melodies are forgotten and not perfectly reminisced.

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  5. I could only see you. What have you done sharad?

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  6. Oh i loved it.
    seriously.

    its been long that i have fallen for a poem.
    from you. Its so beautifully crafted.
    so full of beauty.

    loved it. :}

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  7. Actually this is the first time I've seen someone offer corrections to another's poem. Seemed a very kiddish thing to do.

    ReplyDelete

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