Footsteps on cobblestone

as i sit for another day
slowly time will take her away
as i sip for another night
slowly the pain will subside
with tears gleaming in the morning sun
and the wind kissing my broken smile
moved away they all just did
making way for the perfect crime

as i walk down the empty street
my heart beats a different beat
amidst strangers i found a home
between time and footsteps on cobblestone

no longer do i need to run
no longer do i have to hide
free myself i can, of whats left inside
search deeper i can, of what remains us

all the stares make no sense
never did i have a winning smile
all the fear makes no sense
never did i have a cruel smile
temples i build within
with light that never dims
love i hold deep within
with time i become it

as i walk down the busy street
my heart beats a different beat
amidst myself i found a home
between silence and footsteps on cobblestone


Hmmm okay i havent been writing for a long time and this poem or whatever might seem stupid.. Dunno what made me write it or visit this blog after such a long time but am happy to be posting again :) Looking forward to comments from the people i know and love from our time in gothic community and other new readers as well..

Curiosity Killed The Damn Cat...

I can feel it in the wind,
And your breath on my face
The season turning to dust
And my soul to tar.

The days pass by and I spin,
Like a lonely stranger,
Stripped...and just realizing
He had clothes on.
Wishing he could shoot the birds in the trees
And dress in feathers
Yet finding only bark to his disposal.

And in this strange meander he finds
Four walls containing you,
Walks in as you flash that heavenly smile
A sense of overwhelming calm that somehow suddenly
And yet
Slowly turns to purgatory
Revealing my sins and flaws and counting so many
That I lose track of the fact
I may have a price attached to my name
Cause even tar sells.

Tar, Hot molten tar
That's spreading leaking out like sheer waste.
And over strong unusually cold eyes
I settle
Waiting for forgiveness
For belonging
For your eyes to once stare in my direction
Devoid of the disgust that burns my skin, like everyday.

Reflections in the water trying to turn mud to make up
Wishing seduction would make me the apple of your eye
Raped and torn in a bare glance, You,
is it you who makes me ugly?

Wondering in few silent moments when I can,
If this were your shrine,
Enveloped in bouts of masochism that forces me
To lay here to be whipped.

Are you just as fickle as I am?
Another stranger holding another
Till time passes by
And a better comes along...

And as our hearts grow older
I find yours turning to soft wax
And me,In rushes, like a child, jumping in,
Only to find my feet stuck in a candle,
And body Ready to be lit.
Dicey as you play hot and cold and I sink further in
Curiosity murdering the cat so helpless
It couldn't find out who you were,
If I could only touch your face just once,
And have your eyes only glance at me
An attention so undivided we'd be lost
In a bowl of truth
A spectrum where they couldn't lie
If only you wouldnt bite and turn me shy
Of asking questions.

Slowly the world turned, she never knew
ButThe end drew nearer,and time kept it's date.
The leaves outside the window had cleared
And the flood had paved a grave.
I dragged my feet along to his chamber
Courage to try cause I'd die anyway,
And as I touched his face
Not a thing occurred
His eyes seemed blank
And His life hollow
And in that spectrum of truth no questions were asked
And none answered...
Feeling tortured no more I slipped
Free and yet soaked in apathy towards anything that ever existed.
In my daze
I could hear the water knocking
What a shame to be so dispassionate at my last minute,
head hung,
I waited for the flood to take me
And as eyes opened I could only see the trees outside the window
With the leaves shed on the ground
And a tiny stone said " he who once lived, now lays here"

And as if
For the first time
In so long I could hear the forest speak
As though his voice had drowned out the world
As Though the pain was the greatest joy
He could've granted me...
And in the maddening hustle of the trees and the wind
That disturbed his quiet grave
all I could hear them say was
"we only blame you"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps I was never ugly,
Maybe my doubts killed the one man who understood me true,
Perhaps this shrine was built for me,
Or perhaps you were ugly too.

~ Shraddha
Love yall all.. How are you?

Tears Painted On Canvas

It's hypnotizing, the way the rain falls. While I look to the clouds with open eyes, I see the origin of the heaven's tears. But its cool and it hurts like cold steel. The rain drenches me, and still the violins play on. The gods cry to music of beauty. And I've lost control. I've lost myself, To memories that overwhelm. I stand here, Bereft of hate, my pleading eyes, Drenched under a pouring sky. And its only you that I can feel, While I drown in rain in this sightless night. I remember how your words would make me feel, There is a chill running through me. I remember how you'd make me breathe slow and deep, But the present rain wouldn't let me. I'm spinning out of control, Under an onslaught of memories, And this rain... I yearn for a light to guide me home, But the dark clouds have taken my light. And the memories, Oh Maker! You told me you'd paint my words on canvas white, And never leave while I had a tear still left. Where are you now when the rain is my tears? And these words are flowing blind. There are black mountains on the right, And A valley looms on the other side. But its not a road my darling, my love. I'm trapped in my mind's embrace. Beyond your mountain, are you, a stranger now, And in the valley lies blissful ignorance. Where shall I make my love go to? I've tried crossing your mountain, I can't. And I can't stand being ignorant. So I'll march on ahead, If only this rain would let me see. I'm cold, and I'm dying inside. I'm lost, Yes I've lost control. I'm lost and the rain is steel lances. But the music guides me on, The violins in crescendo have risen, Don't let our song die. I only have memories, And this song. But still the rain, threatens to wash me away. In a cold embrace O Maker preserve us. Yes I've lost control.