Curiosity Killed The Damn Cat...

I can feel it in the wind,
And your breath on my face
The season turning to dust
And my soul to tar.

The days pass by and I spin,
Like a lonely stranger,
Stripped...and just realizing
He had clothes on.
Wishing he could shoot the birds in the trees
And dress in feathers
Yet finding only bark to his disposal.

And in this strange meander he finds
Four walls containing you,
Walks in as you flash that heavenly smile
A sense of overwhelming calm that somehow suddenly
And yet
Slowly turns to purgatory
Revealing my sins and flaws and counting so many
That I lose track of the fact
I may have a price attached to my name
Cause even tar sells.

Tar, Hot molten tar
That's spreading leaking out like sheer waste.
And over strong unusually cold eyes
I settle
Waiting for forgiveness
For belonging
For your eyes to once stare in my direction
Devoid of the disgust that burns my skin, like everyday.

Reflections in the water trying to turn mud to make up
Wishing seduction would make me the apple of your eye
Raped and torn in a bare glance, You,
is it you who makes me ugly?

Wondering in few silent moments when I can,
If this were your shrine,
Enveloped in bouts of masochism that forces me
To lay here to be whipped.

Are you just as fickle as I am?
Another stranger holding another
Till time passes by
And a better comes along...

And as our hearts grow older
I find yours turning to soft wax
And me,In rushes, like a child, jumping in,
Only to find my feet stuck in a candle,
And body Ready to be lit.
Dicey as you play hot and cold and I sink further in
Curiosity murdering the cat so helpless
It couldn't find out who you were,
If I could only touch your face just once,
And have your eyes only glance at me
An attention so undivided we'd be lost
In a bowl of truth
A spectrum where they couldn't lie
If only you wouldnt bite and turn me shy
Of asking questions.

Slowly the world turned, she never knew
ButThe end drew nearer,and time kept it's date.
The leaves outside the window had cleared
And the flood had paved a grave.
I dragged my feet along to his chamber
Courage to try cause I'd die anyway,
And as I touched his face
Not a thing occurred
His eyes seemed blank
And His life hollow
And in that spectrum of truth no questions were asked
And none answered...
Feeling tortured no more I slipped
Free and yet soaked in apathy towards anything that ever existed.
In my daze
I could hear the water knocking
What a shame to be so dispassionate at my last minute,
head hung,
I waited for the flood to take me
And as eyes opened I could only see the trees outside the window
With the leaves shed on the ground
And a tiny stone said " he who once lived, now lays here"

And as if
For the first time
In so long I could hear the forest speak
As though his voice had drowned out the world
As Though the pain was the greatest joy
He could've granted me...
And in the maddening hustle of the trees and the wind
That disturbed his quiet grave
all I could hear them say was
"we only blame you"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps I was never ugly,
Maybe my doubts killed the one man who understood me true,
Perhaps this shrine was built for me,
Or perhaps you were ugly too.

~ Shraddha
Love yall all.. How are you?